Heartbreak or Heart Breaking OpenTM?
It’s important you and I stop for a moment to get clear on what is involved and what is not involved as you adventure into Heart Breaking OpenTM Healing & Coaching.
Initially, we need to clearly identify the crucial distinctions between experiencing heartbreak and consciously choosing Heart Breaking OpenTM, as they are worlds apart. One rests perilously on a foundation of emptiness; the other, on a rich and nurturing foundation. And that nourishing support is the simple, ongoing awareness that our mentality creates our reality — allowing us to gently change our experience of loving from within, in more and more moments.
On the one hand, heartbreak may be one of those issues you are facing already – deeply wounded by what you and your partner have already been through together – intensely aching, empty inside, with no clear solution in sight . . .
Heart Breaking OpenTM, on the other hand, provides soothing and strategic solutions to just such issues as heartbreak. Indeed, the core of Heart Breaking OpenTM is to resolve and overcome heartbreak.
Where heartbreak involves an intense, inner contraction to ease pain and to protect and hide oneself from further damage, Heart Breaking OpenTM involves an intense, inner expansion beyond the feelings of fear, guilt, shame, and resentment to a place of inner strength, forgiveness, confidence, and openness – fearlessly sharing one’s deepest self at heart.
Where heartbreak too often results in victims, . . . Heart Breaking OpenTM creates self-empowerment, self-confidence, openness, motivation, and commitment to freely express your genuine depth of emotions – a state accessed perhaps for your first time since early childhood – before enculturation took over shaping your neural architecture as you evolved into your adult brain.
It is at once, the easiest step to take and yet the hardest step to undertake, as it usually requires you to bring together three conscious and willful actions, at a time when your most significant relationship is under its most intense attack:
One . . . is willingness
Another . . . is forgiveness, and
Third . . . is commitment to nurturing the relationship in more and more moments each day.
Each of these three action steps is a fork-in-the-road of your conscious awareness; a decision-point; a step taken (or not, but a step taken nonetheless), here now . . . and in more and more nows going forward.
You will soon discover, it takes only one of you to effect change in your relationship, and in each of you. Beware, however, if you intentionally give the gift of Heart Breaking OpenTM to your partner, . . . it does not mean s/he will respond as you desire!
Indeed, the key to Heart Breaking OpenTM is genuine, authentic, deep and intentional love; honest love we each can choose to send without expectations . . . without manipulation. This is something you can’t fake. In fact, if you need to make yourself care, you don’t — a critical determination in moving forward beyond your current difficulties.
In fact, once taken, these steps come together into the genuine sharing of love in Heart Breaking OpenTM — love simply given — a transformation that involves becoming friends — sincerely caring and wishing the best for self and other. In doing so (both in spite of, and because of, your current relationship difficulties), such caring becomes a truly significant acid test of the value and potential future of your current, romantic relationship.
Consider also, in heartbreak, one is, too often, highly motivated to simply move-away-from the painful situation (e.g. isolate, break-up, separate, divorce). Heart Breaking OpenTM, at core, however, is focused on accepting what-is-as-is — moving-towards solutions, strategies, and new, lasting, couple skills.
Furthermore, heartbreak generally seeks change externally (outside of one’s self); preferring change-in-other before change-in-self (which too easily leads to outright manipulating). Heart Breaking OpenTM, however, rests on the principle that only lasting change can occur by me, within me, as me, through me; becoming crystal clear that as I change, so too will the dynamics of my most significant relationship! And, in such a heart broken open relationship, I become the impulse for lasting change (and, most certainly, for lasting love).
As such, I also come to realize that living with heart broken open means that I am learning to share love across all the relationships of my life – not just with my significant partner.
Let's pause here for a moment. . . The information above presents a detailed introduction to the most notable distinctions between heartbreak and Heart Breaking OpenTM; and I hope those distinctions provide you with some new ideas about how you can begin to take responsibility to enact solutions in your life beginning today — coming into a new way of ‘being' in each moment, in your life, and, certainly, in your love.
After more than two decades guiding couples and individuals in love, I know that in learning to live with Heart Breaking OpenTM, you are able to attain your highest, natural state of relationship performance and lasting achievement . . . in peace, in joy, with a full and loving heart. Indeed, it is your birthright to claim such a life — to know this deep joy in living and in loving.
As Parker J. Palmer notes, living intentionally with a “broken open heart” is simply “. . . the holiest thing we have to offer the world!“
If you would like to experience Heart Breaking OpenTM (up close & personal), to renew your romance and share love to levels you have only imagined and hoped for, I offer you:
May your heart be broken open in love!